Dancing with the Stars- "Dancing with the Stars?"

So we're back for season 11 and I think it's time for a name change because most of the people on this show are NOT stars. Audrina, Mike aka "The Situation, Bristol Palin? Pullleeeezzzeee!

This a two-hour show so let's get started. More after the jump...
First we have Audrina and Tony. Audrina has zero personality and doesn't look like she can dance but maybe Tony will bring out something special? They dance the Cha-Cha and it was okay. Audrina wasn't as bad as I thought she would be. A little stiff but okay. The judges liked it. I say they don't stand a chance.
19.

Kurt Warner and Anna. In rehearsal he looks horrible so my expectations are low. They dance the Waltz and it wasn't too bad  for the first dance. He was stiff and looked very nervous. Bruno and Carrie-Ann liked it- Len hated it. I see potential.
Another 19.

Kyle Massey and Lacey. These two have a great connection and Lacey has blond hair and lip injections. Well Kyle is really light on his feet and has great energy. Energetic and surprising performance. Carrie-Ann loved it! Len liked it. Bruno loved it.
23.

Rick Fox and Cheryl.  Well Rick is extremely handsome and for such a long person he didn't look goofy like I expected. His boo Eliza Dushka was in the audience watching her man closely and with good reason because I think Rick and Cheryl make a great couple. Carrie-Ann was gushing and the camera cut to Eliza who looked none too pleased. The judges liked the performance.
22.

Margaret Cho and Louis. They danced a really cute and funny Waltz. Bruno hated it. Carrie-Ann thought it was over the top. Len didn't like the comedy act. Get a sense of humor people.
Margaret may be in trouble.
15.

Brandy and Maksim. In rehearsal Brandy was a whiner. The performance was okay. The judges loved it. Brandy seems a bit desperate to be accepted. She's also annoyingly over dramatic. Brandy if you keep acting like this no-one is gonna like you.
23.

Bristol Palin and Mark. Bristol looks like she can't dance. She just may be the Kate Gosselin of season 11. They dance the Cha-cha. Okay- she's a lot better than dreaded Kate. Mark definitely pushed her along. The judges handled her with kid gloves and kinda fawned over her. It was a good first performance but let's not get ridiculous.
18.

Florence Henderson and Corky. She's very funny that's for sure. And she has a decent body for an older woman. She was good. The judges liked it for the most part.
18.

Michael Bolton and Chelsie. They dance the Waltz and Michael looks like a mannequin. I think I've said enough- ugghhh.
16.

Mike (The Situation) and Karina. He's a fool and kinda doofy. Rehearsals look horrific so I'm scared. Overall it wasn't bad. He'll be on for a minute just because people like him.  His cockiness was off-putting to the judges.
15.

Jennifer Grey and Derek. "Nobody puts Baby in the corner" but Baby cries when she finds out that they are dancing to a song from Dirty Dancing. She was hysterical and overly dramatic with the emotion. I understand that she was thinking about Patrick Swazye but... Anyway, they dance the waltz and it was good- not outstanding- but good. Ugghhh- Carrie-Ann cries, Bruno and Len liked it.
24.

And they saved the best for last David Hasselhoff and Kim. What a complete train wreck that I'm expecting this to be. He talks about himsself in the 3rd person in the opening taped piece so I'm sure this is going to be horrific. One word- Frightened. Here are some additonal words that I'll use to describe the performance- old, creepy, weird, yucky and smelly. He looks like his breath stinks- haaaaa. The judges comments were funny. Horrible.
15.


My guess for the first dancing fool to go home is David Hasselhoff.

Until tomorrow...